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10 years, 2 months, 2 weeks (to be honest its 1 week) but I didn't quite know how to remove this little gadget, well I did but it made it so final and so definite. My nursing days are over, there I have said it.
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To be more truthful I did have a 8 month break while I was pregnant with my second little girl much to eldest disgust when it suddenly dried up when I was 2 months pregnant.
Its been a lovely journey which has taught me new things about myself as a person and as a parent.
- About myself I have learnt how to practice my beliefs regardless of whether it differs from the status quo and to really stand up for myself regardless of the negative criticism that might be aimed at my lifestyle choices. I have always had a tendency to walk a different road from the masses but the choice to breastfeed and to long term breastfeed has really helped me to grow ever stronger in my convictions.
- About being a parent it has reminded me to truly allow my girls to reach and achieve their stages of development at their own pace. It is an easy thing to say but can be harder to achieve especially when those around you constantly assess and suggest that just maybe it would be better to _____ (fill in the blank).
I can barely believe its been a whole decade that I have nursed for and I feel as though I should be marking this journey's end with some sort of ritual but what I do not know. Should it be private involving only myself or should I include a few very close female friends and my daughters???
Ah! its just hit me, I'll do a self portrait abstract painting and maybe a poem literary composition to go with the art piece to mark the occasion and when its done I'll share it with you all.
Anyway thanks for reading, see you soon and wishing you a great day.
Hi Kella, I read this with interest, because I am sure this must be sad for you and I think your decision to do the self portrait and a poem to mark the end of your breastfeeding period is a great idea.
ReplyDeleteI do advocate breastfeeding, but I don't think it's a bad thing if a mother decides not to do it. I personally did it for under a year with each of my children and bottle fed my older son as I got breast abscess and it was very painful.
I have one friend who breastfed her son until he was 4 yrs old and I have to say I found it quite disturbing to see him lift her top and suckle and that age. She lost a lot of friends because of it, but although I found it weird, it was her choice. I personally think that she needed him to stay her baby rather than let him grow up, so I don't think she breastfed him that long for the right reasons. Whereas reading your blog I think you have strong convictions and ideas on the issue.
Hi Maureen, though I firmly sit in the camp for breastfeeding, I believe that it is certainly the choice of the mum whether she breastfeeds or not and that every woman and man for that matter (for women with active partners need that support regardless of their feeding choices) be given all the info that is needed so they can make a truly informed decision re feeding their baby/s.
ReplyDeleteRe: long term BFeeding the best way I describe it to others when they have asked me how/ why do you feed 1st: a toddler, then a young child along with all the other questions on whether it feels weird to suckle a toddler, etc.
My answer has always been 1st they didn't start off as toddlers or small children :) and as with anything the relationship alters and changes over time.
1st its all about feeding, comforting, connecting. Then as they interact more their obvious joy in nursing really touched me and I found that hard to take away from them when they still seemed so very vulnerable and in need of that connection.
2nd when they begin to explore more away from the comfort of mummy it was very useful to have a constant in their lives which they could depend on. This is emphasised more by their early words and know one can ever take away those first feeling of joy I felt when my darlings looked me in the eye for the first time remove the breast from their mouth and say I love mummy's milk, when asked why they feel this way, the answers for both my girls at differing times of answering were: because "it taste nice"/ "it makes me happy"/ simply because "I just like it" :)
As they get older the answers get more complex as their language skills develop but the core reason that it make them feel good never changes.
And in all honesty it was never a problem for me to give them this part of myself for this long which made accepting their need for what it was much easier. My hubby was always supportive minus the odd grumble but heck even I grumbled from time to time and I can't think of anything in my life good or bad that didn't make me grumble from time to time.
But its strange though I expect to feel sadness I can happily declare I feel a sense of fulfilment, fulfilment I suppose because we, my girls and I ended things on our terms.
Our journey has come to its natural conclusion and we are all content.